If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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