You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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