I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
