she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
