But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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