I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
