this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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