dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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