the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
