he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
