How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
