I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
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