Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
as a side note pls kill me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
