i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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