do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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