Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
