One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
