Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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