what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
