wrigley field is MILF paradise
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize