so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize