I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
