I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
