is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
