i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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