I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
