Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
