I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
