"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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