didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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