Where did you get a picture of my penis
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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