I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
