New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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