I love black thongs
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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