This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
