is your mom at the bar?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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