I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
