I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just took my morning after pill in the library
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
