Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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