I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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