is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
