Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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