I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
