Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
