Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize