Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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