I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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