I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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