So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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