I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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