i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
