Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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