So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
