Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
