I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
