We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
