If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
