Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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