IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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