3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
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you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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