i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
